What is Ambiguous Loss?
Loss is a universal human experience; it's a part of life that we all must face. Yet, not all losses are the same. Some are clear and defined, while others are less so.
A concept originally defined by psychologist Dr. Pauline Boss, ambiguous loss presents unique challenges.
Understanding Ambiguous Loss
Ambiguous loss, by definition, is a type of grief that it is characterized by uncertainty and a lack of closure. Unlike traditional losses, such as death, it's not easily defined. An ambiguous loss is one that remains unresolved, leaving individuals in a state of perpetual limbo.
The Concept and Origin of Ambiguous Loss
The term "ambiguous loss" was coined by Dr. Pauline Boss in the 1970s. In the course of her work, she observed this phenomenon in the families of missing soldiers who often noticed their struggle to cope with the uncertainty of their loved ones' fate. Dr. Boss’s book published in 2000 provides many other relevant examples of ambiguous loss, which can also be a significant feature of the immigrant and refugee experience.
The Two Types of Ambiguous Loss
Dr. Boss identified two types of ambiguous loss:
Physical absence with psychological presence: This occurs when a person is physically missing but remains present in the thoughts and memories of their loved ones. Examples include missing persons, divorce, or adoption. This type of ambiguous loss can also occur in refugees and immigrants.
Psychological absence with physical presence: This happens when a person is physically present but psychologically or emotionally absent. Examples include dementia, addiction, or mental illness.
Often, however, there is significant overlap between these two types.
The Psychological Impact of Ambiguous Loss
Ambiguous loss can have profound psychological effects and can very commonly lead to stress, depression, and anxiety. The ambiguity of the loss often creates a sense of helplessness, leaving individuals feeling stuck or unable to move forward. Accordingly, such unresolved grief can strain relationships. It can also disrupt family dynamics and create conflict.
It is important to acknowledge that ambiguous loss can also extend beyond the individual and can affect entire families, communities, and societies. Periods of significant transitions or eras of cultural change can often represent an ambiguous loss. Changes in government leadership, moving, or periods of economic depression can result in shifts that might all be termed formed of ambiguous loss. The Iranian Cultural Revolution, for instance, is one example of a major cultural shift that resulted in a sense of ambiguous loss for an entire country.
Coping with the Unresolved Nature of Ambiguous Grief
Traditional grief models often fall short when someone is struggling with ambiguous loss in that they don't account for the ongoing nature of the loss. Successful grief when dealing with this type of loss often requires adapting to uncertainty and finding ways to live with ambiguity.
The Role of Hope and Complications in Ambiguous Loss
Hope plays a complex role in ambiguous loss in that it can be both a source of comfort and a source of pain. On the one hand, hope can provide a sense of possibility and can help individuals cope with uncertainty. On the other hand, however, holding on to hope can prolong grief and can keep individuals stuck in ambiguity, unable to find closure.
Strategies for Managing Ambiguous Loss
Managing ambiguous loss requires unique strategies. Typically these involve learning to live with ambiguity as opposed to seeking closure. One way to accomplish this is to find meaning in the loss, which can help individuals make sense of their experience and find a way forward.
Another strategy is to build resilience. This can be accomplished by making new connections, pursuing new hobbies, or trying something that previously seemed intimidating. In the act of stretching oneself and challenging oneself to try new things, we often realize that we are capable of so much more than we ever imagined.
Building Resilience and Finding Meaning
Finding meaning in loss can also be helpful, as it can provide a sense of purpose and direction amidst the stress of ambiguity. Meaning-Centered Psychotherapy is one type of therapy that can be particularly beneficial for individuals coping with such a loss. Victor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist who popularized logo therapy, which served as the inspiration for Meaning-Centered Psychotherapy, underscored the transformative power of hope and meaning in his classic book, Man’s Search For Meaning.
The Importance of Social Support and Professional Help
Social support is crucial in dealing with ambiguous loss. It can provide a sense of community and shared understanding. Professional help can also be beneficial as therapists and counselors can provide guidance and support in navigating the complexities of ambiguous loss. It's important to remember that there's no right or wrong way to grieve; everyone's experience with ambiguous loss is unique and valid.
Ambiguous Loss in Different Contexts
Ambiguous loss is not limited to personal experiences. As aforementioned, it can also occur in larger societal contexts, such as natural disasters or political unrest.
In these situations, entire communities may experience ambiguous loss and the uncertainty and lack of closure can have a profound impact on the collective psyche. Cuban Americans, Russian Americans, Chinese Americans, Vietnamese Americans, and Haitian Americans are only a few of many groups of American immigrants who left their countries to escape political and/or economic oppression and who many fondly miss many aspects of their home country.
Ambiguous Loss Across Cultures and Societies
The experience of ambiguous loss can vary across cultures and societies and different cultural norms and beliefs can shape how ambiguous loss is understood and dealt with. For example, some cultures, particularly Latin American and African cultures, may have rituals or practices that help individuals cope with ambiguous loss. Others may lack the language or framework to acknowledge such losses.
Conclusion: Embracing Ambiguity and Moving Forward
Ambiguous loss is a complex and challenging form of grief that often defies traditional models of loss and requires a flexible, patient approach to healing.
Despite its challenges, it's possible to navigate ambiguous loss. Therapies like Meaning-Centered Psychotherapy can be particularly helpful in providing support and cultivating resilience so individuals can learn to live with the ambiguity and move forward.